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| Some random thoughts...
It's really been on my heart to get in contact with Kristen. She's been gone for at least eight months now and I haven't really heard much from her, except that she doesn't want to come back home. It breaks my heart that someone with such potential is willingly screwing up her life. I hate feeling so helpless about it, too. I know there's no way to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, but that's such a hard thing to accept. I look at other people who are so close to their siblings and get sad thinking that it feels like I don't even have a sister anymore. She could be back home right now for summer, finish high school next year and get a great athletic scholarship for a sweet college. Instead, she's in Mexico with my mom's dad, not even getting an education. Why is she being so stubborn? And yet, despite being so angry with her sometimes, I still have a desire to see her and talk to her. I guess I just wouldn't want to regret not doing something I could, even if it ends up being useless. I don't know.
Another thing that's bothering me right now? My mom. She doesn't know half of what goes on with me. So I guess I shouldn't hold it against her that she doesn't give me enough credit, but I do.
I was talking last night with Erin about dating and marriage. As hard as it is sometimes to not be in a relationship, I think that being in a relationship is equally hard somtimes, just in a different way. I'm afraid to say anything that I might regret later if things don't work out. But when does feeling like this become an unnecessary paranoia? I get to thinking a lot about getting married and spending the rest of my life with another person. What a huge committment. And what a potentially huge mistake.
I miss Taylor, especially after talking to Kat a couple days ago. I miss being five minutes away from 1800 other college students. I miss being surrounded by students and staff that love the Lord. Taylor really is a special place and I can't wait to get back there. | | |
| December 1st was yesterday, and I pretty much had the best morning ever. I woke up to see FALLING SNOW out my window and was STOKED. I put on my layers and headed over to Nussbaum for COS 104. Well, class was five minutes long, so I went to breakfast with Justin. We sat around talking for a while, then went walking outside in the snow for an hour and a half. It was soooooooooo fun!! The snow was white and falling and beautiful. haha, I even ATE some of it. Tasted weird...Justin said it was dry snow, whatever that means. Anyway, we walked all over the place just having a good time. It was a good, good day.
People need to stop and smell the roses more often. Be hApPY with the small things in life. I don't think we should ever stop being fascinated with this world. God is amazing and so are the things He has created.
Two more weeks from tomorrow before I'm home. Home to friends, family, and warm weather. I can't wait!! | | |
| uuuuuuuuuugh. some people are just so frustrating sometimes.
Anyway, I'm sooooooo excited about the formal this Saturday. After pictures and eating at the DC, we're going to see the Nutcracker ballet in Indianapolis. YAY for ballet and YAY for the city!! I'm going with Justin and I'm stoked. It's going to be so amazing; the only thing is that my I can't breathe in my dress. Hmmmmm.
But, before I get to Saturday, I have soooooo much junk to do! Read the Old Testament for Bib Lit, read my self-help book and write a paper on it, write a paper on Siddhartha for Thursday, read for foundations of psychology, blah blah blah. ugh, school.
19 more days until I'm in warm and beachy California
:: the one and only :: | | |
| i can't sleep. all this excitement and such is keeping me awake. ugh, i'm going to die in class tomorrow.
...needing sleep... | | |
| YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! I'm back!! And I couldn't be happier about it! I got back around 7:00 pm and the first thing I did after I threw all my stuff in my room was run down the hall and give a HUUUUUUUUUUGE hug to Kat!! My love! I heart Kat!!!!! I can't believe I'm finally back and I can't believe I'm so sTOkeD about it! Wow. I'll agree with Sandy that I need to calm down.
Okay. I have three more weeks until I'm on an airplane going home. More reason for excitement!! Except these three weeks of reading and studying and finals are going to be INSANE. I'm going to be so busy and while that makes the time go by fast, I feel overwhelmed with everything. I just hope to finish out this semester STRONG.
.God be with me.
:: K to the ARA :: | | |
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